These 4X4s are garbage, and you can’t change my mind

If you’re easily offended or closely related to a Karen then I’m going to need you to look away now. Sometimes in a four-wheel driver’s life you just need to vent, and that’s what I’m doing today. 4X4s have been around for decades, and some are better than others. In saying that however, some are a lot worse than others too. So bad in fact that I need to talk about them. 

These are my top 5 WORST four-wheel drives ever made (not in any particular order), and you can’t change my mind. Now, let’s begin! 

#1 – Holden Jackaroo 

The early Holden Jackaroos really left a lot to be desired. A mid-sized SUV inspired four-wheel drive that was meant to appeal to just about everyone wanting an adventure capable vehicle sadly missed the mark heavily. 

With subjectively terrible external styling. An insurmountable lack of power. Below average suspension setup. And an interior packed full of cheap plastic trim, the Jackaroo wasn’t ever going to stand the test of time. Especially when pushed to its limits off-road. 

“The Jackaroo wasn’t ever going to stand the test of time”

#2 – Toyota FJ Cruiser 

Introduced in 2006/07, the FJ Cruiser, in my opinion, was one of the biggest disappointments to hit a Toyota showroom. We were promised big things and expected even bigger things with Toyota promising a retro-styled four-wheel drive designed to pay homage to the original FJ40 Landcruiser. 

What we were left with was a petrol powered, automatic gearbox, independent front suspension vehicle that lacked off-road ability and on-road prowess. I guess there’s a reason Toyota discontinued the manufacturing after just a few short years. 

#3 – Suzuki Sierra / Samurai 

Cute is the best way to describe these impractical road registered matchbox cars. Although a fun 4X4 to cruise around the beach in, these have made my list for two big reasons. The first is rust. And I only say this because I’m yet to see an old Sierra that isn’t full of rust on all surfaces.

The other reason, and arguably most important is their strange habit of rolling over on small off-road obstacles. The narrow and short wheelbase of the car along with stuff leaf-sprung suspension meant these were a high rollover risk vehicle on off-road tracks but also on the black-top too. 

#4 – Land Rover Discovery 

Now whilst I mention the Land Rover Discovery as the vehicle of choice, I’m honestly just beating around the bush. I lowkey would love to just say “all Land Rovers in general.” The early models had a unique toughness about them which quickly disappeared as the more modern predecessors took their place. 

With soft styling, overloaded technology and problems with reliability, it wasn’t uncommon for a Land Rover owner to be left stranded on the side of a track with some sort of undiagnosable electronics gremlin. 

“It wasn’t uncommon for a Land Rover owner to be left stranded on the side of a track”

#5 – Mercedes Benz G-Wagon 

Now before you jump into the comments section and hit me with a “this guys on drugs”… let me explain. I’m not talking about the new generation G-Wagons whether it be the turbo diesel model or the twin-turbo V8 G63’s, I absolutely love those models. I’m talking about the original G-Wagon. Yep, the ugly 1980’s model. 

Designed pretty much exclusively for military use, it meant for a rather lack-lustre breadbox type situation. Plenty of torque off-road but zero ‘go’ on-road meant a slow and noisy ride wherever you were heading. The interior was basic and noisy which meant if you wanted to hit the open road and smash out a 10-hour Sydney to Brisbane drive, you’d be left wanting a plethora of stops to stretch your legs and escape the monotony.

With all this being said, please remember these are just my opinions, and I would still happily own any of the above 4X4s. Any four-wheel drive is better than no four-wheel drive in my eyes. With the market as ballistic as it is currently, you’d be silly not to work with what you have. 

Stay safe, and I’ll see you on the tracks.